Twilight
Below is a small blurb of my idea
Set after the events of the first book in the Twilight series Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are finally together without any worry… or so they think. Since arriving back in Forks being nearly killed by a bloodthirsty Vampire, Bella has not been the same. ..
I have never feared for my own life before. But after coming so close to death recently at the hands of a hungry vampire, I have grown accustomed to the fact that one day, maybe not a long time from now, my life as I know it will be over. But for some reason, for the first time in my life that scared me.
A young girl stands on the edge of a cliff that looks out over the meandering ocean, the sky is grey, a man clad in a black jacket stands with her. She looks afraid, I close my eyes, only for a second, and when I open them she has gone. But the mysterious coat wearing figure stands tall in the same position looking out across the water.
That's when I wake up.
The same dream has been happening again and again since I returned to forks two short weeks ago. But it’s different from other dreams. It’s so clear and vivid. So clear I can touch the rocks I’m rested on high up on a rocky coastline. So vivid I can feel the bone chilling wind covering my body.
Who are the figures on the cliff face? What happened to the girl? Why is it so clear? And what’s it got to do with me? My mind is full of questions. But until I have answers I will not tell a soul, not even Edward.
My day started like any other day. I got dressed and went downstairs, like always Charlie was sitting in the same chair at the table reading the paper. I made some small talk about my plans for the day then left for school.
Edward was waiting in his usual place leaning agenised his shiny silver Volvo but something was different. His face was grim; his usual smirk that unfailingly mirrors mine when I see him was missing. I instantly knew something was wrong. My heart sank inside me as I sheepishly walked over to meet him, his golden eyes gazing thoughtfully into mine like he was trying to read my mind. I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it.
“Bella, I need to talk to you, it can’t wait.”
His tone was bleak, and I could sense that he had something very serious to tell me. He opened the passenger door of his car and I quickly got in, he was already in the car when I closed the door, his expression now colder than his skin. “Edward what is it your scaring me?” my voice raw with fear.
He ignored me as he started the car; my heart sank as we drove off at speed away from Forks.
“What are you doing?”I could not hide my fear.
“You are sick Bella, I know what you’re thinking, I can hear your thoughts as clear as any other person, and that can only mean one thing. Some of the venom from the vampire attack is still in your system”
“How could that happen? You sucked it all out?” I spoke at twice my normal pace.
“There is always a chance that some of the venom can remain, you are ok for now but eventually the chromosomes will multiply and overpower your system and you will die.
My mind couldn’t comprehend what it had just heard. Could this explain my dreams? I tried to speak but I couldn’t.
“There is only one way to stop this from happening” as Edward spoke the car came to a stop, I looked up and I could see water. We appeared to be at some sort of scenic tourist lookout, but the view I had seen before....
Edward slowly got out of the car and started walking toward the cliff as he walked he put on a long jet black jacket and pulled the hood over his head, he gestured for me to follow him. I hesitated but complied.
He came to a stop at only a few feet from the edge, I stood a safe distance behind. For the first time since I meet Edward I was afraid of him. He seemed completely different, and he looked at me like I was an entirely different person.
“Bella the only way we can stop the venom from killing you is to stop your heart, so Carlyle can operate.” You need to drown so it looks like a harmless accident.”
It was clear now; the girl in my dreams was me. I mustered up the little energy I had left and spoke. “You can’t be serious, how can you be sure this will work?”
“Trust me” he said as he took my hand and turned me around so my back faced the water. I didn’t struggle, for some strange reason the touch of his icy hand suddenly calmed me. I closed my eyes expecting the worsted. “I love you Bella” he whispered. I opened my eyes just in time to catch a last glimpse of his perfect face as my body slipped from his embrace and fell towards the water below.
My mind went blank before I hit the water.
The soothing image of Edwards face remained in my mind, it was the first thing I laid my eyes on when I awoke in my own warm bed.
I had no energy but I had to say something to him. “I will always trust you Edward.”
He smiled his trademark smile, and with that I closed my eyes because I knew everything would be ok.
Please let me know what you guys think so i can make some final changes!! Be honest!!
dude that was such a sweeeeeet idea. i thought the end was a bit rushed but we have a limit on words so it cant really be helped. i love it though,venom still left in her veins, such a good idea. awesome.
ReplyDeleteThis is really good -- very intriguing plot, well written, all that. My only suggestion is to take another look at spelling and punctuation, particularly quote marks and commas.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your feedback guys!! Im gona re write the ending cause it is a bit rushed.. Spelling and grammer will be fixed up when i post the final version up.
ReplyDeleteCheers!